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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Unkers@TheMovies - Spiderman 3

OK I confess.

I went to catch the new Spidey movie today for only 1 reason, Kirsten Dunst. I don't give 2 hoots about Tobey Maguire. In fact I think he is a 1-dimensional nerd. But little Miss Interview-With-A-Vampire...hmmm..I would give her a MJ any day =))



And of course there was the kewl-pull of seeing the Man-Arachnid in Jet Black. The prospect of having the Crawly One unleash some of his suppressed inner angst on the world. But I am afraid the new villain Venom does a better job. Tobey, in temporarily-evil Peter Parker mode, ends up looking like the lead singer from Good Charlotte. What with the floppy fringe and slightly kohl-ed eyes =))

Well lets cut to chase shall we. None of Director Sam Raimi's young posse of stars can really act. Cry maybe (of which there is plenty in this latest instalment) but act, no. But Sammy-boy weaves such a tangled web (no pun intended!) that somehow you don't really notice. You're too busy swinging around downtown Manhattan like a costumed Tarzan, getting lost in the numerous sub-plots, not to mention being blown away by the overbaked CGI, to care that Mary Jane will never make it as a Jazz singer on Broadway or that Peter Parker was probably born with very low EQ. James Franco, as Green Goblin Jnr, is quite the cute dude so..err..he will be forgiven for just being broodingly handsome.

Thomas Haden Church, Flint Marko aka Sandman, was utter rubbish. I think Mr Raimi added him in to achieve 2 things ; finally close the chapter on how Uncle Ben died and to have another reason for some CGI sorcery. Both ways, the Sandman would be what we call in Hokkien, an 'extra ingredient', usually redundant but added in for show. How Marko became the Sandy Swampthing must also be one of the lamest transformations in ComicBook history ever! He stumbles into an enormous pit running away from the NYPD, gets zapped by swirling molecular transformers in a science experiment and Voila!

Topher Grace (That 70's Show) is almost unrecognisable as Venom, the Black Goo-possessed Meanie with a mean set of teeth. And oh yes, there is the obligatory love triangle in this one, hell, 2 triangles really. Both involving Peter and MJ with gorgeous 3rd parties. MJ briefly runs back into the arms of Harry Osbourne (Franco) when Peter is too caught up preening for the kids and Peter, momentarily distraught at being dumped by his childhood sweetheart, runs into the lovely blond tresses of classmate Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard). Gwen is HOT, I don't blame him =))

At the end of the day, Spidey 3 answers all your burning questions lah and provides some form of closure, albeit in a staggering and bladder-bursting 140 mins. Whether or not the closure is done properly is another matter.

For Spidey 4, perhaps poor old Aunty May will finally realise that her dear nephew does not just have a webbed costume fetish afterall =))

7/10

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