I know, but I don't dare to say it

It is between us only. I know it will come to this, when your legs gets wobbly. Your mind and your heart switch places. I know you too well.
The letter sits on my desk. Setting a time and place for our destiny to be unraveled in front of us. So helplessly shoved and dragged into a decision, so premature, so binding.
In my mind, I replay the scenarios that might transpire, the sad ending, the bitter ending, the happy endings.
And only in the "happy endings" there are several. To me, "happy endings" are aplenty. The roads we chose and the plans we laid, are still unformed and in infancy. It may still be a "happy ending", you will never know.

As I look it, I am desperately happy. Well, it is the kind of happiness that you find when you are beyond sadness.
I don't really want to impose myself too much, seeking the path of least resistance. I am so encased in my "happiness", I don't know where to start laughing. Driving fast seems to help, but I can stay in my car forever.

Now, you seems to be unhappy with "us". The simple life that I sought for "us".
I have made my decisions and they might not be as difficult as yours. But loving you helps a lot.
You have to have guts, take it now or never ever to speak of it again, and spread your wings and fly.
Far away, and leave me to whisper into a hollow, all the regrets, sorrows, fears and apprehensions, and stuff it with mud and straw.

Time is the essence and the essence is now.
All we need is one step, your worries might not go away, but you will have me for life.
For good or bad, in health or in sickness.