Nursery Rhymes For The Blahnik Brigade
If you dunno Manolo Blahnik, you're probably not hip and happenin' enough for this new book by Amy Allen :)) Its the new must-have for the uber-kewl fashionista and metrosexual this festive season and guarantees you a giggle, perhaps while you're waiting for the sales-assistant to bring you that Hermes calf-leather sling from the shelf. But if you're really not in the know about designer chic like Jimmy Choo and Steve McQueen, most of the humor will be lost on you. However fret not because the book comes with the original nursery rhymes intact, side-by-side with the more stylish counterparts. See if you can recognise some of the rhymes after their expensive makeover...
This little piggy went to Prada,
This little piggy went to Cannes,
This little piggy dined at Nobu,
And this little piggy, Hakkasan.
And this little piggy went 'Wee wee wee wee!'
All the way home because she had a fat bottom!
Or this:
(to the tune of Frere Jacques)
Louis Vuitton, Louis Vuitton,
Mulberry, Mulberry?
Nappy bag dilemma - Lulu, Kate or Anya?
Shopping spree, buy all three.
Or this:
There was a young woman who lived in her Choos,
Though she once had a house in a smart Chelsea Mews.
So much on Jimmy,
The house had to go,
And with it, her Amex and husband in tow!
Or this:
Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?
I've been to London to see McQueen,
Pussycat, pussycat, what did you do there?
I bought the collection and kissed lots of air.
Or this:
Twinkle, twinkle, diamond ring,
In a blue box tied with string.
Tiffany's new princess cut,
Twice the size of a baby's butt.
Twinkle twinkle, show your spark,
Can't change nappies in the dark.
Blardy bimbotic! :))