Z and N came to see me in my office today.
Two of my brighter junior officers, Z took the trouble of making an 'appointment' to speak to me through his direct supervisor. So I thought, woah, must be something serious. Usually they just stop me while I'm having a coffee and ciggie in the pantry you see =))
As it turned out, he and N were planning to get married in August and wanted to know if it was alright if they both took leave for a week. I had earlier frozen all leave applications because of an important official event in September. And Z wanted to be sure they had the green-light to make preparations since I said I would re-consider the very special cases.
Well I suppose this was special enough. So I said OK.
Although I knew the both of them were together and dating since last December, I really didn't expect things to move along so quickly at Warp-speed. Z's 25 and N, 23. Younglings even by my standards. And I'm no old fart ok =)) Intelligent and good-looking, the both of them make quite the picture-perfect pair. And it is pretty obvious to the rest of us 'old-foggies' (and a few jealous spinsters) that they are very much in love. Don't ask us how lah, we know. We have love-sense honed by the many years of having 'been there and done that' =))
And so when Z asked N to leave my office while he spoke to me privately, I really didn't know what to say. Since he surprised (ok more like shocked) me by asking if I thought they were ready. Me, a marriage counsellor? Yikes. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was the last person who should be talking to the both of them about something as big as an eternal union. Since I screwed up my own.
Did I think they were ready? Hmmm, 8 months together. Both barely out of their early twenties. Financially, not really there yet. Career-wise, definitely a long way to go. Not very good odds.
But where it matters the most, the Heart Department, only the both of them have the answers. And so that was what I told Z. The good 'ole Motherhood proclaimation of 'if you love her and she loves you, go for it'. Which really doesn't mean anything at all. Not a smidgen.
And I felt like such an idiot when Z left my room.
So can someone tell me what love is. Before I get him to see me again to make amends. If its not about time and age, money or career, and apart from the intangible heady rush of lovey-dovey feelings always associated with the emotion, what the hell izzit?
Quick. I am supposed to have Love-sense remember =))