...a guest blog from the untie-in-waiting in the form of RCC's very own crude cephalopod...nearly choked to death laffing at her compraints!!! :)) Way to go Un-tie Jo...
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Part I - I want to comprain!!!
Why do people hold cheesy wedding dinners knowing how cheesy the wedding dinner is!!!
I swear that as sure as the muffin flies :)), I shall not hold a traditional Chinese wedding dinner.
- U invite 300+ people, 250 of which u have not seen in the last 365 days. It makes the whole wedding so sian!
- U think of who to invite – u sian
- Ur guests receive your wedding invite – they sian
- U think of who to sit with who – u sian
- Ur guests arrive at the wedding n realize they dunno who they r sitting with – they sian
- Ur guests sit with other people they dunno well so they dun dare to help themselves to the food so food is wasted – u feel u wasted ur money, they feel they’ve wasted their money – both u n ur guests all sian
- Ur guests leave the wedding dinner after eating for more than 2 hours but stil feeling hungry – they sian
- U pay premium rates to hold a wedding on a weekend as opposed to a weekday – u sian
- Ur guests burn a wkend night to attend the wedding, somemore must give angbao – they sian
Now can someone explain to me why they wan to throw traditional Chinese wedding dinner again? (hahahahahahahaha - unker kona)
Part II – the sibeh sian wkend!
Over the weekend, I attended (might I add, unwilling) a relative’s wedding dinner held at the GRAND ballroom of a 3-star hotel in Singapore.
So we arrived fashionably late at 8, and were seated with the family of my relative’s mother’s sister’s family, whom I do not know. The daughter of the sister of the mother of the groom was nice n civil about making small talk, but I felt like being a snob (this one damn tao - unker kona) n not b too chatty that evening.
Before dinner starts, the MC (who must have scored excellently for the “Read the Passage” component of her primary school oral exam) invited us to view a presentation of “the lives of the bride and groom”.
Why huh?? Why must make people see ur naked baby picture??? I tink it’s to let relatives who have not spoken to you before know what a handsome groom/beautiful bride u’ve grown up to be! Or is it for them to recognize u as the boy/girl who fought with their kid for that piece of bak kua during the Chinese New Year of 1987.
The couple marches in then comes the next unbearable part – the VERY COLD cold dish…
Cold dish, u know, the one with the jellyfish n salad prawns. The dish is ok, but why do they have to make such a “exciting” entrance? As if it is a big no-no to serve it just like any other dish, die die must use some exciting music by the string quartet Bond or the Mission Impossible theme, not as if the waiters going to descend into the hall suspended from the ceiling with cables!! Make the whole atmosphere so exciting for what??
The side doors swing open, servers line up on both sides of the isle, 5 on each side. Then 2 team leaders walk down the aisle carrying the dish meant for the VIP table. Everytime they walk in between a pair of servers, the servers must exchange place with the server they r facing, the one standing on the left change place with the one standing on the right, n vice versa… wah! Stil got formation one leh! The aisle so narrow! i dun tink many people noticed it anyway!
Then I noticed what they were using to decorate the dish. Optic fibre “flowers” that children play with during Chinese New Year, commonly available from funfairs at Marina Square – somemore can change color – red, green, blue n purple! So exciting…. NOT! *rolls eyes*
Then the other dishes come – roast chicken, steamed fish, sea cucumber with mushrooms n vege, by 9.30, they’ve only served half the menu!! 1.5 hours – 5 dishes? Mayb they shd jus play the Mission Impossible music in their kitchen to speed things up la. u let the guests listen to that music, the guests eat faster only.
Suffice to say, I made an (valid) excuse to leave the dinner early – I needed to go pak-tor. This is valid becos the mother of the groom ask me when is it my turn mah, so now I quickly go pak-tor then I quickly make it my turn lor! Wahahahah!