Never, I say never, bring Brits for a seafood dinner in Geylang. Just stuff them with Fish and Chips and call it a day.
The Missus had to host an important Brit client and his wife to dinner today and I had to tag along to make it a couple-couple kinda thingee. Actually she told me that I was a repository of himbotic and frivolous information and so could help her entertain them with some small talk. In other words, I was so full of shit. She has such an esteemed opinion of me the Missus :)) But I digress...
Anyway dinner started innocently enough at our favorite seafood restaurant in the middle of the red-light district with a request by Mr Brit not to order chicken cos he had an allergy to poultry. That meant all egg dishes as well. Allergic to chicken? What? Lucky we were in a SEAFOOD restaurant.
When asked if the both of them could take chilli and spicy stuff, the 2 angmos said they could not. Yet they insisted on ordering the chilli and white pepper crabs because they had heard so much about it and wanted to give it a go.
Fine, so we ordered
1. Chilli Crab
2. White Pepper Crab
3. Fried Vermicelli with Lobster
4. Fried Baby Squid
5. Baby Kai Lan stir-fried with Garlic
6. Pork Ribs (Pai Kuat Worng)
By the 1st crab claw, both angmos were watering badly and were blowing their noses into the wet towels. ewwww. The 2 ice-cold Heinekens I ordered couldn't help. They also didn't take too kindly to the baby squid because they remarked that the little deep-fried critters looked like something straight out of Fear Factor. Mrs Brit 'jokingly' said that the vermicelli resembled knitting thread while Mr Brit ate his pork ribs whole, crunching the bones like a dog until I told him that he was just supposed to bite the meat off. About the only dish that was spared some form of comment was the Vege. Even then, the way the 2 angmos pronouced Kai Lan sounded vulgar :))
And for some reason tonight, the whole restaurant was teeming with PRC streetwalkers and their dirty old men having dinner, presumably before scooting off to a cheap hotel down the road. So tits were aplenty. Mr Brit was visibly horny about it. Can't say the same for Mrs Brit though :)) Completing her fantastic dining experience were 2 tomcats who kept playing footsie, or should I say paw-sie, with her toes under the table. She is so not a feline fan.
Thank god it started raining after dinner so we didn't have to bring them to the Night Safari. But I don't think Mr Brit would have felt up to it anyway, for a twilight Tram ride that is, because the Missus and me realised too late, after dropping them off at the hotel, that the Chill Crab gravy contained enough egg to kill him... ahahaha!