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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Style-Files@Unkster - Forbes Richest Fictional 15 (2005)

Taken from Forbes.com...they really bother to come up with something like dis :))...

Collectively, we are fascinated by the super-rich. We devour their biographies. We hang on their advice. Maybe we even hope for their downfall. But in our attempts to explain the ultra-rich--and their super-inflated bank accounts--we are often guilty of reducing real people to mere caricatures. There is the monopolist. The oracle. The genius. The thief.

With the Forbes Fictional 15, we have taken the opposite approach--fiction’s caricatures are elevated to the status of real people.

To qualify for the Fictional 15, we insisted that members be both fictional (in the sense that we excluded mythological and folkloric figures) and characters (meaning they are part of a narrative story or series of stories). Great wealth was required to be one of the primary attributes of the characters on this list - in other words, we looked for characters that were known, within their universes, for being rich.

Of course, there is one notable exception to all these rules: Santa Claus, who is mythological and not really known for his great wealth. Our excuse? We just couldn’t resist. What’s the point of doing a list about fictional characters if you can’t break the rules, at least just a little?

This list is an updated version of an earlier Fictional 15, which we published three years ago. After all, the passage of time affects even the timeless.


#1 Claus, Santa

Age: 1,600 years plus
Source: Toys
Net Worth: $∞
Hometown: New York City; North Pole
Marital Status: Married, no children

Born in the fourth century as Nicholas of Myra in Anatolia, now southwestern Turkey. According to legend, gave away bulk of his inheritance to provide dowries for three beautiful--but impoverished--maiden sisters. Famously threw gold through girls' chimney where it landed in their stockings drying by fire. Later Roman Catholic saint. Relics stolen by Italian merchants 12th century; bones now in Bari, southern Italy. Moved to U.S. by way of Holland; settled in New Amsterdam, later New York City. Changed name to Santa Claus, gained weight, grew beard. Toy manufacturing operations at North Pole yielding apparently unlimited wealth. Spends every Christmas Eve trying fruitlessly to give away fortune to little children. Keeping up with the times: Compressive of naughty and nice boys and girls now available on the Web. Passionate interest in artic wildlife: Large reindeer preserve includes rare flying and red-nosed specimens. Member since time immemorial.


#2 Warbucks, Oliver "Daddy"

Net Worth: $27.3 billion
Source: Defense Industries
Age: 52
Marital Status: Divorced, one child
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Education: S.U.N.Y. Stony Brook, B.S.

Iraqi conflict has been kind to Warbucks; recipient of multiple defense contracts; cat-food holdings also up. Since adopting daughter Annie, has spent or given away much of his fortune, but still fiction's second-richest man. Rarely seen in public without bodyguards Punjab and Asp; both reputed to have mystical powers and great strength. Press reports charge Warbucks frequently pulls Annie out of school for globe-trotting jaunts with Sandy, her Airedale terrier. Member since 1924


#3 Rich, Richie

Net Worth: $17 billion
Source: Inheritance, Conglomerates
Age: 10
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Richville, U.S.A.
Education: Richville Elementary

The "poor little rich boy" continues to share father's fortune with underprivileged kids in native Richville, paving basketball courts with gold and donating caviar to soup kitchens. Also: Successfully foiled plan by spoiled cousin Reggie Van Dough to cancel Christmas. But critics claim sinister intent underlies charitable exterior. Genetic engineering of "Dollarmatian" dogs with dollar-sign spots has animal rights groups fuming, and use of robotic maids led to wildcat strikes in Rich Industries' hotel group. Fortune took a hit after failed attempt to launch "Richie" fashion line, which consisted entirely of waistcoats and blue shorts. Member since 1953.


#4 Luthor, Lex

Net Worth: $10.1 billion
Source: Defense, Software, Real Estate
Age: 52
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Metropolis, U.S.A.

Education: Metropolis University, B.S; Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Ph.D.
A year after his term as president ended in scandal, Luthor returned to the helm of LexCorp unbowed. Inventor of personal jetpack, robot guard dog said to be back in the lab. Singles out negative reporting by former friend and Daily Planet writer Clark Kent as "worst kind of tabloid journalism." Spent childhood in idyllic Smallville, Kans.; moved to Metropolis at age 21; built LexCorp into world's largest defense and software firm. Claims "superpowered do-gooders" are plotting to take over the world. Prominent supporter of "extropian" life-extension research. Member since 1940.


#5 Burns, Charles Montgomery

Net Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital Status: Single, one bastard child.
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.

Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.


#6 McDuck, Scrooge

Age: 80
Source: Mining
Net Worth: $8.2 Billion
Hometown: Duckberg
Marital Status: Single

Planet's richest waterfowl amassed one of the world's largest collections of gold coins and paper currency, kept in giant money bin atop hill in native Duckburg. Enjoys swimming in money. Moved to American West from native Scotland, amassing fortune from gold and copper mines. No longer invests--keeps everything in cash. Never gives to charity; never married. Lives in mansion with three great-nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie. Member since 1947.


#7 Clampett, Jed

Net Worth: $6.6 billion
Source: Oil & Gas, Banking
Age: 51
Marital Status: Widowed, one child.
Hometown: Beverly Hills, Calif.
Education: Ozark Elementary, dropout

Parlayed small gusher on Ozark homestead into multinational energy juggernaught. Clampett Oil went public, 1984, but closely knit Clampett-clan still dominates executive suite; Jed, Chairman and CEO; Cousin Jethro oversees Russian operations; Elly May looks after environmental compliance; "Granny" handles finance. Also: banking operations. Clampett bought small savings and loan, 1967, ousted long-serving president, Milton Drysdale. Expanded operations across California, then West. Now 356 branches in ten states. Remains country-boy at heart; major player on bass-fishing circuit, serves 'coon at corporate retreats. Member since 1962.


#8 Wayne, Bruce

Age: 38
Source: Inheritance; Software
Net Worth: $6.3 Billion
Hometown: Gotham City
Marital Status: Single

Prominent playboy had tough year. Charged with murdering old-flame Vesper Fairchild. Exonerated partly through efforts of mysterious Batman and other costumed crime fighters. Shares of Wayne Enterprises, where he is chairman, languish based on lower-than-expected profits and Gotham City's sky-high crime rate. Orphaned during street mugging at age eight, went on to build then-tiny Wayne Enterprises into technology powerhouse. Rumors swirl over habit of keeping teenage boys as wards. Donates tens of millions each year to charities for police, paraplegics and orphans. Member since 1939.


#9 Howell, Thurston III

Net Worth: $5.7 billion
Source: Howell Industries
Age: 60
Marital Status: Married, no children
Hometown: Private Island, Pacific Ocean
Education: Harvard, B.A.

Fled U.S. to avoid federal tax evasion charges; rumored to be holed up on private Pacific island with a small cadre of trusted associates. Wife Lovey now back stateside, working Washington social circuit; lobbying for presidential pardon. Overcame youthful image as a playboy bachelor after inheriting privately held Howell Industries in 1955. Went on acquistion binge, snapping up undervalued assets, expanding into plastics, chemicals, concrete. Polished demeanor and self-deprecating manner disguise ruthless methods. Competitors, underlings never underestimate him twice. Still thought to control privately-held Howell Industries through various proxies; company has made recent push into "unsinkable" double-hulled leisure watercraft; new CEO insists on being called "Skipper." Member since 1964.


#10 Wonka, Willy

Net Worth: $2.3 billion
Source: Candy
Age: 57
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Kent, England

Reclusive chocolate-factory owner was hit hard by low-carb diet craze, but has seen fortunes improve in recent months thanks to innovative new sweets conceived by protégé Charlie Bucket. Currently under investigation by British authorities for illegally importing unregistered laborers from Loompaland, paying them only in cocoa beans. Authorized autobiographical 2005 film in attempt to rehabilitate image; revealed that as the son of a dentist, was long forbidden to eat chocolate. Member since 1964.


#11 Bach, Arthur

Net Worth: $2 billion
Source: Inheritance
Age: 50
Marital Status: Divorced, no children.
Hometown: New York, N.Y.

Playboy layabout remains blissfully oblivious to changes in social mores. Still carouses in vintage '80s style: "I race cars, play tennis and womanize, but I have weekends off, and I'm my own boss." Attempt at marriage unsuccessful: no longer on speaking terms with former wife. Sobriety also unsuccessful. But inclination to blow family money on booze and toys tempered by a series of well-compensated butlers, who are instructed to keep almost all Bach's dollars safely in money market accounts.


#12 Scrooge, Ebenezer

Net Worth: $1.7 billion
Source: Banking, Investments
Age: 63
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: London, England
Education: University of Edinburgh

Briefly distracted by philanthropic causes a few years back, Scrooge is all business again. Came out of late '90s tech bubble unscathed, refusing to invest in stocks with "Humbug valuations." Sizable gold horde appreciating rapidly; said to make $10 million every time price of gold goes up by $1. Lifelong bachelor with few close associates. Strong believer in the paranormal; insists home is haunted by ghosts. Scrooge remains focal point for anger over excessive executive compensation. Most recent proxy discloses salary to be 927 times that of Bob Crachit, his long-suffering number two. Member since 1843.


#13 Croft, Lara

Net Worth: $1 billion
Source: Inheritance, Antiques
Age: 37
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Wimbledon, England
Education: Cambridge University

Daughter of a British lord; raised in luxury. Gained fame and even more fortune by crawling into dusty tombs, charging through jungles and getting into gun fights. Archaeologist and author of travel books; responsible for numerous discoveries, including the lost city of Atlantis and Pandora's Box. Experienced windfall this year by licensing name to endorse variety of products, from handguns to hot pants. Rumored to have fought, killed Bigfoot.


#14 De Vil, Cruella

Net Worth: $1 billion
Source: Inheritance
Age: 65
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: London, England
Education: Fashion Institute of Technology

London fashion icon saw fortune grow as chain stores like J. Crew and Banana Republic embrace fur in fall collections. Recently gave up long-held dream of making fur coat from 99 Dalmatian puppies. EBay fanatic; online purchases purportedly include Hunter S. Thompson's cigarette holder, coat made from purebred pugs and Chihuahuas. Critics say she "ought to be locked up," but Cruella insists her only crime is her fashion sense. Insists that money can buy anything. Continues to live extravagantly but privately in the solitude of Hell Hall estate. Member since 1961.


#15 Malfoy, Lucius

Net Worth: $900 million
Source: Inheritance
Age: 51
Marital Status: Married, one child.
Hometown: Wiltshire, England
Education: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Patriarch of ancient wizarding family is known for his luxurious white hair, advocacy for pureblood magicians, and violent hatred of Harry Potter. Family stores of gold and illegal Dark Arts artifacts amount to significant fortune, most of which is used to buy influence within the magical community. Caught red-handed burglarizing United Kingdom's Ministry of Magic; currently incarcerated in Azkaban prison. Once asked: "What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?"

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

interesting! hahaa...

RCC is down! :(

2:22 PM  
Blogger kona said...

anyone suffering from withdrawal? the symptoms i mean and not the other...hahaha...

who the hell are:-

1. thurston howell III
2. arthur bach

a bit the boliao leh this article by forbes...standards slipping... *shake head*

3:22 PM  
Blogger FlyingMuffyn said...

Thurston Howell frm Gilligan's Island lah. the papa i tink. And Arthur Back is Dudley Moore in the move Arthur wif Liza Minelli. :))

boliao! :))

5:21 PM  
Blogger kona said...

ah i sheeeeeee....all these rich bastiches (imaginary though they may be LOL)...

sianz...RCC is mati-ded liao...your predicKtion came true, u guniang!!! :P

ey, go my blog and see watches... ;)

*fingers crossed tomorrow can rcc again* :S

6:10 PM  
Blogger FlyingMuffyn said...

see also cannot buy.. :P but anyway a Panarai Luminor or Radomir for me :))

9:46 PM  
Blogger kona said...

all below 2grand lah u dingdong....u surely can afford...hell, you can afford a luminor, surely....you rich man wor :P

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's come down to atas watch discussions... haha.

3:08 PM  
Blogger FlyingMuffyn said...

well, its a style thread after all :P

12:57 AM  
Blogger kona said...

nothing wrong with that wor, teapotboi :P

2:24 PM  

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