Everybody's into Top 10 lists these days. On the radio, on Blogs, in trashy magazines...So here's my frivolous 10.
Top 10 Things Why You Should Have Listened To Your Mudder And Not Date That Taller Woman.10. You see a Chiropractor who treats you for tilting your head 45 degrees constantly.
9. While you THINK you look like Tom Cruise, people are secretly calling you Danny Devito.
8. She contemplates sitting on a wheelchair to make you feel better.
7. When driving her car, you take the chance, while she is oogling that Lamborghini, to furtively move the seat forward 5 inches.
6. Once the DJ gets to the slow-dance numbers, you fake incontinence and dash to the toilet until the Red Hot Chilli Peppers come on again.
5. You tell her absent-mindedly one day that you can see faint shadows of stubble under her chin and a strand of nose-hair from where you are, paying for it dearly thereafter.
4. When bargaining at the Wedding Photographer's, you stupidly ask if they provide a couple of stacked-up Telephone Directories at no extra charge.
3. While taking a romantic stroll out on the beach in the moonlight, you aim to wrap your arms around the small of her back but get the backside instead.
2. At your first meeting, her mother offers you milk instead of tea.
And the
Numero Uno reason why you should have listened to Mummy dearest is...
1. You fondle yourself proudly in the shower while trying to tip-toe to see your manhood over the vanity-top in the mirror.=))