Goodbye

Honestly, I haven't been this bitter-sweet to say goodbye.

To 2006 that is.

So here goes. Goodbye.

And good riddance.

The Monkey Suit

The most expensive piece of clothing in my wardrobe is a Hugo Boss suit I paid an arm and a leg for 3 years ago.

And as I have an obscene number of weddings to attend next month, one as an Emcee no less, I tried it on just now to see if it fits.

It doesn't. Shit =/

Not that I thought it would. Hell I've cut about like 6 inches off my waistline, going from a Size 35 to a Size 29. So if I didn't hold the pants up with my fingers, the damn thing would drop to my ankles. I kid you not! The jacket is another matter. I look all ready for a game of American Football.

Well its off to the Boss men later today then. To see if their tailors can salvage my 3500-dollar black pin-striped spacesuit. I'm not so sure though. Little adjustments they can do. But shrinking something down by 3 sizes, errrr, that would be of Saville Row proportions =))

Of course the other way round would be to fatten myself up in time. I have 3 weeks to gorge.

Or I could go out and get myself that sharp and gorgeous Zegna and try to sell the monkey suit to my Size 36 brother.

Decisions, decisions =))

Boxing The Day

Christmas 2006 is over.

And I'm sure that for every person who rues the passing of this happy day, there is another who heaves a sigh of relief that the Yuletide yo-yo is finally on the down-swing.

The festivities can really get depressing for the lonely and single. Or those who are estranged from their families. Worst, if someone with whom you have spent many merry Christmases together has suddenly left to sojourn with St Peter at the Gates decorated with mistletoe. Perhaps that girlfren or boyfren is with another boyfren or girlfren this year and you have no one. Maybe you have never had anyone to buy pressies for anyway.

Bah Humbug!

The fact is, if you have that someone special, or really good friends and family around you, every day can be Christmas. And if you don't, well that Fat Man in the red robe and bushy white beard just irritates you no end ya? You feel like shooting the bugger with a reindeer gun =))

So this goes out to all the closet Christmas-haters. You know who you are, don't bluff. I hope the feeling is transient.

Its OK to hate the season for now. But if you don't do something about it by Easter, you'll see Mommy kissing Santa Claus again next year.

And then the North Pole will suddenly look like a fantastic place to migrate to.

Feliz Navidad

My memory of Christmas as a child is waking up to a late X'mas lunch at Granny's. Followed by an afternoon of fun at Dad's Cricket Club party where Santa was the fat, Indian bartender who didn't need pillows for a tummy and whose day job was to dish out whiskies and gin tonics at Tuesday Tombola Nites.

I never figured out why he went Doh Doh Doh instead of Ho Ho Ho. On hindsight, it might have been the Johnny Walker talking =))

My memory of Christmas as a teenager is waking up to morning service at Church where invariably I was rostered to play the Organ. Which I must say I did with extra gusto since the congregation always sang more lustily when it came to the repetoire of Christmas Hymns and Carols. A group of us would always spend the night before in church since we would all be out caroling till late. And when we finally got back to God's House at about 3am, we would be too stuffed like the turkeys we had at every home to sleep.

This was our chance at a 'holy' Co-ed Pyjama Party too. And it also explains why we would all be nodding off while Pastor delivered his Nativity address =)).

My Christmas morning will be spent in the gym. Then perhaps to lunch before deciding to catch up on our Zs. In the evening, we might go see Dakota Fanning and her pig in Charlotte's Web. Or maybe, just maybe, go for a Xmas jog at the beach.

Does Jesus or Santa feature in our plans? Nope. Not anymore I'm afraid.

Ghosts of Christmases Past perhaps. Or haunting memories of a once spirit-filled, Christmasy childhood.

Feliz Navidad folks. Juz don't make it a Hic-spanic one.

fa la la la la la la la la

IPPT

I just want to say, beating guys 10 years my junior in Sit-Ups, the Standing Broad-jump, the Shuttle Run, Pull Ups and the standard 2.4km run in my annual Individual Physical Proficiency Test today, puts a big smile on my face.

Especially since I am discovering more and more white hairs on my head everyday as I scrutinise my mousse-coiffured spikes.

Yes I know. Narcissistic Bastard! =))

Unkers@TheMovies - Curse Of The Golden Flower

Chinese directors seem obsessed with the royal incestous theme these days. And they are playing it up with glorious cinematography, lush sets and really fancy costumes.

Zhang Yimou, grand-daddy of Chinese Arthouse, has jumped on the hip Hamlet bandwagon with his latest offering, Curse of the Golden Flower. And in what better style than to be reunited with his darling muse, Gong Li. Who by the way kicks some kewt Zhang Ziyi ass in this Tang adaptation of an old 1934 play called Thunderstorm by Chinese playwright Cao Yu. Ziyi, if you remember, played a similar role of love-torn Empress in Feng Xiaogang's The Banquet earlier this year.



Well we caught this late yesterday evening, a sneak peek before the Chrysanthemums officially bloom in cinemas today. And I must say we enjoyed it more than we did The Banquet.

Sure the themes in both films are almost identical. Empress, trapped in a loveless marriage to a despotic Emperor, is secretly in love with a useless Prince, and plots the downfall of a doomed Dynasty. Been there done that =)) But with Curse, the story is told much more vividly and Director Zhang manages to keep a tight rein on the pace and dialogue which made the 2 hours pass relatively enjoyably and quickly.

For 30-somethings like us, the draw in Curse was the ever charasmatic Chow Yun Fatt (my idol during his 'pre-pubescent' Man In The Net days) and China's greatest gift to Movieworld, Gong Li. Both did not dissappoint. In fact they were really impressive. If Gong was the consummate Empress with the perfect screen-gravitas, Chow matched her every emotional quiver with such icy royal nonchalance, I actually felt cold =))

But Zhang Yimou is a wily old fox as well as expert film-maker. Old Mr Chow and Ms Gong may appeal to the older set, but by having Taiwanese Prince of R&B Jay Chou ditch his trucker-rapper cap and ripped jeans for luscious gold armor as a 'real' Tang Prince, he has scored a coup with the Mumbler's legions of adoring young fans. Better still, Zhang got Jay to sing the film's theme song, a plaintive emotional ditty about a Chrysanthemum Flower Bed. Whatever that is! =)) Grapevine talk is that Jay agreed not to mumble his way through this number out of respect for Zhang who admitted that he, like most old-foggies, did not know what the rapper was mouthing about half the time =))

Anyway, Jay Chou should stick with his droopy-fringe-over-slitty-eyes-I-don't-give-a-damn-if-you-think-I-mumble persona. Because he looks, how should I say this without offending the Chou-ers, pretty wierd in period costume. You almost wish he would take off his stuffy robes and do a little song and dance for the amusement of the numerous sexy, ample-bosomed, Palace maidens. Ooolala =)) They all look like back-up dancers in his MTVs anyway =P Jay's acting was at best, OK, and at worst, slightly wooden. Nothing to shout about really.

In terms of set design and costumes, I would say Curse loses out to The Banquet because the latter was more designer-oriental-chic and stylish. But only slightly. This time, I think Zhang went a little overboard with the Golden theme. Not to say it wasn't nice, just too painful for the retinas after a while =)) The Palace set was a trifle tacky though. What with colorful, glow-in-the-dark pillars and psychedelic walls. In some scenes, you might think you have walked right smack into the Crown Prince of Brunei's wedding and that the Emperor would soon break into silat or something to entertain the guests =))

Overall a 8/10 for me. If not for Gong Li and Chow Yun Fatt, then for the bevy of corset-tightened nubiles running all over The Forbidden City.

The Good Bastard

You know there are Good Bastards and there are Bad Bastards.

Good Bastards you hate because they are slimy little conniving slugs with a scary lack of integrity. But yet they get the job done and its quite obvious they have the ability, sans the humility.

Bad Bastards are everything the Good Bastards are, up to the slimy little conniving slugs part. But they are hopeless, pathetic little no-lifers who think they know lots but can't tell a parrot from a carrot.

My boss is a Good Bastard.

And I count my blessings because, well, he could have been a Bad Bastard =)) Now that would really be terrible. Because I cannot bring myself to report to an abnormal mongoloid who thinks the world of himself. However, an intelligent, go-getting, conniving little integrity-less slug I can swallow..err..I mean stomach =))

Well recently, I have clawed my way back into the good books of the Good Bastard. And I am not ashamed to say, by a mixture of some really deft ego-pumping and just that right dose of Yes-Man-ship that would surely tickle the most Narcissistic of hearts.

Am I proud of it? Not really. But to a certain extent, I am happy I have not lost the touch to adapt to the changing demands of the different people who decide how many zeros go into my next performance bonus. What to do, its a big, bad, real world ya?

I will talk about a pet topic of mine, Bespoke Boot-licking, another time ok? In short, how much saliva to leave on the shoes of your boss and how to lick the different types of Manolo Blahniks correctly =))

Anyway, I am writing this because someone told me yesterday that I was becoming quite a Slave Driver these days.

And somehow, that makes me sad...

UnkEats - Restoran Chua Kee

So we finally made it across the border to Gelang Patah yesterday.

The 8 of us in 3 cars. To this ulu restaurant just outside the main town with al fresco dining. We all forgot to take pictures of the place and food so the phonecam shot below was taken the last time I was here 6 months ago. Hasn't changed abit lah.



We had :

Red Garouper done Teochew style, steamed with salted vegetables and tofu
Beggar Chicken, the house speciality. The bird is slowly stewed in a fragrant herbal broth
Clams stir-fried in a fiery sambal
Pork Ribs deep fried then glazed over with a sweet and sour sauce
Chicken Wings deep fried then glazed over with a pepper and honey sauce
Empress Dou Miao stir-fried with garlic
Hokkien Mee, M'sian-style in dark soya sauce
Prawns steamed in Chinese wine and ginger

All for about 160 Ringgit which was a steal really. Pity the Crabs and Crayfish were not in season so we didn't have any. But the fish was really fresh and well done, the Herbal chicken so peel-off-the bone and the Chicken Wings to die for, especially washed down with a couple of Heinekens.

But we should have ordered more food. Since everyone didn't have enough Carbo and were only up to 75% capacity after dinner. Which was probably a blessing in disguise since we drove down to another kopitiam in the centre of town to have delicious Penang-styled Char Kway Teow and a huge serving of deep-fried Chicken Skin as a sort of Dinner Part Deux.

Burp! =))

All in all, a fun makan outing with a difference. Even though we had to take turns doing security guard duty, checking on our cars every 20 minutes or so over dinner =))

StyleFiles@Unkster - All I Want For Christmas. Part 2

Or



Or both! =P

StyleFiles@Unkster - All I Want For Christmas. Part 1

With the new Porsche Design PTC 911 Limited Edition, Porsche Design has made a striking collection in the unique colours of the new Porsche 911 Carrera: Basalt Black, Guards Red and Speed Yellow. The sport chronograph is available in a limited edition of 911 timepieces in each of these colours. Set contains matching 911 models. 40mm size. Titanium Case. Double coated anti-reflective Sapphire crystals front and back. Dial has the classic profile of a 911 printed on it's dial Rotor styled to look like a BBS mag wheel created from titanium combined with black coated tungsten. Date Indication Black, yellow or red dials. Water-resistant to 100m.



Of course there is the small problem of it costing only SGD$25, 000 =))

UnkEats - RiverCafe

Lazy, sunny, Sunday morning.

So we decided to pop down to the RiverCafe at Robertson Quay. Well we figured if we can't afford to live here (nice apartments aplenty!), at least we could have a coffee and read the papers and soak in the nice expat community =P



The cafe overlooks the Singapore River and is housed in a restored 1920's warehouse. I mean everything in Boat Quay, Clarke Quay or Robertson Quay is housed in some conservation building or another isn't it? =)) But of the 3 Quays, Robertson is the most pictureresque lah. OK picturesque by our meagre S'porean standards. Anyway the cafe is a good place to watch the angmo joggers go by and the sizeable Japanese community taking their kawaii pet dogs for a walkie.

But I was dissappointed with the food. Not to say the grub was disgusting or anything but, woah, not cheap! I had the scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast with 3 slivers of bacon. Nothing extraordinary and yet it cost me 15 bucks.



K's Aglio Olio Speghetti with Prawns cost a whopping 22 bucks. Yes it was pretty decent taste-wise but where is the value? About 14 bucks would have been a fairer charge we think. I mean we have had pasta all over S'pore and we roughly know about fair pricing.



The saving grace was the really good Long Black from Vittoria, Australia. At 4 bucks, I would pay lah.



RiverCafe is touted as a modern Australian bistro. And until we pop by for dinner and sample their evening menu, I shall reserve full judgement.

But going by the standards at breakfast, I would say a preliminary 6.5/10.

The Blue And Yellow

Yesterday, the topic of running a little hotel cropped up again with K over Fajitas and a jug of Pink Guava Margarita.

I read an article in the papers a few days ago about a young 20-something fella who, together with 4 other buddies, pumped in about 10 grand each to open up a small 39-bedder backpackers hostel in a just-about-off city-centre location. And business is pretty good, according to him, with a steady 70% occupancy. Plus it is set to increase with tourist arrivals soaring in the coming months. The industry has definitely recovered from the '97 Asian financial crisis, the traumatic events of 911 and the scourge of SARS in 2003.

Well the both of us have always been intrigued with cool boutique hotels. And going by the rate these are popping up all over the world, so are many accomodation-savvy travellers. Needless to say, these places provide the warmth of character and cosiness the big-budget 5-Stars often lack. And most importantly, at about, what, half the price? OK two-thirds if you are really into the more up-market boutiques.

Our only quibble with these smaller hotels is that often, a gym and decent pool are missing from the equation. But then again, how often do you actually use these facilities while on holiday huh? We always pack our sports-gear but succumb to either a hearty breakfast or the comfy bed after a day out sight-seeing. And then pay for it when we get back home =))

Anyway. we figured that here in sunny S'pore, a niche can be carved out of the Boutique Hotel catergory. Very creatively named the Budget Boutique segment =)) We're not interested in running a backpackers' haven with dormitories and shared toilets and kitchenettes jammed with a United Nation's worth of smelly foreigners in a World Gourmet Summit. And neither do we have the moolah to compete with places like the grand 'old lady' of S'pore boutiques, 1929, or The Scarlet or even the recently opened New Majestic.

Something in-between would be nice. Pitched at the travel-savvy with an eye for style and yet a finger firmly on the purse-strings. Someone willing to pay like 130 Sing dollars a night for a Double room. And yet won't want to stay in a character-less 3.5-Star. Someone who doesn't need all the frills of an atas restaurant on the mezzanine floor, a full buffet breakfast at the poolside cafe, newspapers at the door, Aesop toiletries and a turn-down service with Godivas before bed-time. Someone who prefers a clean, tastefully-designed room with a spotless toilet over a drab bed-cum-wardrobe ensemble or a lavish but obiang set-up with a butler-drawn bath.

Someone like us =))

Perhaps we could have a tie up with IKEA and call our hotel The Blue & Yellow. Ok kidding about the name =)) Budget Scandinavian-chic appointed rooms, designed and subsidised by the furniture giant which can serve as a sort of walking (actually sleeping!) advertisement for the humongous Swedish Meatball =)) Well IKEA has always said it was the place for people who, to quote its advertising, "have more taste than money". Excellent tagline for our place doncha tink? =P Lets see if they are interested in getting into the Hotel business. If Armani can do it in Dubai and Bvlgari in Milan, the Swedes can certainly do a budget one in S'pore =))

But after all that dreaming, it comes down to Dollars and Sense. I mean we are not about to give up our day jobs to become budget hoteliers. Its more of a side-line really. An investment of sorts that we really have to work at, not sit back and let the stock-broker call and say its a good time to dump the 50 lots. Sourcing for funds, getting a good location and doing up a solid business plan, we can do. But getting a good Operations man (or woman) to run the show for us is another matter. Someone after our own heart. Good sense is hard to find you know =))

So after hearing me ramble, you guys think it is a viable proposition?

More importantly, any investors? =P

Confessions Of A SneakerSlut 2 - From Zero To Hero

I have a shoe fetish.

Luckily its not for heels and stilettos though. For gawdy sneakers ya. Anyway, yesterday I got myself a pair of Adizero LTs in silver and orange. The Adizero range from Adidas is the not-so-new big thing to hit the Kedai Kasut. Something like the Nike-Free models but slightly less minimalist, as far as cushioning is concerned. But colorfully Manga-styled to tap the Japanese market.



This baby is so light, you can spin one on your index finger without much ado. The shoes literally feel weightless as you eat up those kilometres. Currently, the LT is for Light-Training, the RC, for Racing Competition and the CS, for Cushion Support. The Adizero Pro range, top-of-the-line lightweights, can be used for race-day. They offer really minimal cushioning support but are ultra-feathery and give just that sufficient propulsion and protection from the road.

If you're looking for chunky soles and fancy air pumps, spongy gels and what-nots, you'll be dissappointed. With these shoes, your feet feel the track. Much like driving an Alfa, you get the bumps and the knocks.

On a road-test with the LTs yesterday, they passed with flying colours.



Well, this is my new fetish as far as sneakers are concerned. Cos the range is a contradiction of sorts. Zen-like in terms of features and yet boldly designed to make sure your feet won't be missed.

Check out a whole new set that will debut in Jan 07. Including the new Chiba Pro's that already make my current Highlighter-yellow and green pair passe.

Now to chuck those Nikes away =))

The Frog Prince

We all know this story of Amphibious Alchemy.

Although I read somewhere that in the original Brothers' Grimm fairytale of The Frog Prince, the Princess did not actually kiss the green thing. Instead, the action that broke the evil spell that eventually turned frog into prince was a little less romantic. The spoilt girl threw the offending 'ree-bit' boy against the wall and Voila!

Erm...Ouch! =))

But we are all closet romantics-at-heart aren't we. So we want to believe the distorted version, over the centuries, about how a girl must kiss many ugly amphibians before one eventually turns into her Knight in Shining Armour.

In present-day reality, the notion of kissing a frog as an euphemism for accepting and learning to love a physically ugly guy remains. Although unlike the medieval princess, you will have no such luck in having the thing turn into George Clooney. The frog will remain a frog. You'll be lucky if it doesn't become a toad. Toads, warts and all, are much uglier =)) So pretend he is Kermit, can sing, can dance alittle and oh so schweet. At least try to =))

But lets face it, we live in a realistic world ya? One where Hollywood and glossy magazines pepper us with heavenly bods and chiselled good looks everyday. Its hard to love an ugly guy, even if he has the temperament of the Dalai Lama and the heart of Mother Theresa. Alot of girls I know won't even date someone remotely shorter than them. Or at least have grievious reservations about doing so =)) To hell with inner beauty.

I have a number of accquaintances who fit the description of frogs. Some of them border on being toads. They don't dress right, don't smell right and some don't even speak right. But they are some of the nicest people on earth. Like what the Singlish people like to say, 'got character'.

How many girls are willing to give them a metaphorical peck on the cheek? Zilch.

Actually not totally zilch lah because some girls are willing. But unfortunately they look like Ms Piggy =)) And our dear Frog Princes are also on the look-out for their own pretty svelt Princesses you see.

So the moral of my story is, some Frog Princes have only themselves to blame! =))

42.195/2

If you look at the leader board for this year's Stanchart Singapore Marathon, you'd be forgiven for thinking the race was run in the wrong continent.

For the full 42, it was a Kenyan for both Men and Women. For the half 21, it was a Kenyan for the Men and thankfully a Brit lass for the Women. I suspect it was the same last year, and for all the other marathons run all over the world =)) The Afrikaan Advantage is clear when it comes to pounding the long-distance pavement. God knows why.

Anyway I shouldn't be talking so much since I didn't even take part in this year's run. With a packet-a-day habit nowadays, I won't even last a quarter marathon. OK of course I can do a 10 click lah but at what embarassing time I dunno =))

K took part in the half marathon though. Its like her 4th or 5th race this year already. Having done the Shape Run, New Balance Real Run, Great Eastern Run, Sheares Bridge Run and dunno what other run which I have lost track of. Congrats Sweetie! When I used to run circles around you (ok exaggerating =P), you now leave me huffing and (literally) puffing in your slip-stream =))

Running and fitness seem to be the in thing with Singaporeans nowadays with Sports-goods retailers reporting a tremendous spike in sales and profits. But how many are really into it for the love of the outdoors and how many are actually poseurs caught up with the 'hey-look-at-me-i'm-sporty' obsession remains to be seen.

Next year I am quite set on taking part. But I haven't run 21km at 1-go in the last 10 years or so. I mean completing it shouldn't be a problem. But doing it in a respectable sub-2hr timing should be abit of a challenge. Already I am doing far too much gym rather than cardio work.

Lets just see if I can do a sub-3 ciggies a day in the next month or so first shall we =P

Would You Lie With Me, And Just Forget The World?

Because it was used in Season 2's finale of Grey's Anatomy, Irish band Snow Patrol's hauntingly beautiful Chasing Cars has become somewhat of a cult love-song amongst hopeless romantics all over the world.

The song has been in my head even before it played on GA here in S'pore. And it gets my vote for Song of 2006.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Its here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?

Like all good songs, the lyrics are open to interpretation. But one thing is certain amongst the thousands who have cuddled up with someone special while listening to it playing on the radio. It is a fantastic love song without the cliche-ness of the words 'love', 'heart', 'pain', 'kiss' and all that soppy la-la-la's a la Air Supply. And yet one feels the angst, the love, the heartfelt feelings of sincerity and romantic bewilderment.

To me, the song hints about a love that is somewhat uneasy and confused. It may be unrequited and one-sided or it may be difficult because of certain circumstances. But it exists and it is strong. It has been said that chasing cars is the song-writer's metaphor for chasing girls. His Dad used to tell him that after he finally gets one (car or girl), he won't know what to do. So he writes about inviting the one he loves to forget about the harsh realities for the time being and to just lie down, waste time, and indulge in some frivolous imagination. When he says that 'I need your grace, to remind me to find my own', he is telling her that she is the one he has chosen to be with.

Simply beautiful.

Of Eyes, abit of Luck and a Magnesium Alloy

The camera people are just as evil as the computer and handphone people. Perhaps just a smidgen-ly less wicked.

Why? Because ever so often, they come up with new models that make you hate the one you have now. And suddenly, the newest kid on the block becomes the latest must-have in this ugly cesspool of greed and wanton desire.



Sigh! =))

I have absolutely no problems with my current Nikon D70, except for maybe the kit lens which sometimes gives softer-than-desired pictures which have to be re-touched with a bit of contrast magic. And the by-now puny 1.5 inch LCD. You see my baby is a 1st generation DSLR, back when DSLRs were just beginning to be the in thing for amateurs like me.

Well I am still an amateur. I would like to think I take decent basic shots but nothing fantastic lah. You won't go like WOW!, WATTA SHOT!, like how I sometimes do when I see some of the photos uploaded on FlickR by fellow 'amateurs'. Or when I flip the coffee-table, pictorial tomes of National Geographic.

Which brings me to the age-old (ok not that age-old lah) question of what makes a great picture. The Photographer or the Camera?

The resounding answer will probably be the photographer. I mean give a person who has 'The Eye' a basic Point-and-Shoot disposable and he/she can still produce good (but perhaps not great) shots. Give a hopeless bozo who cannot even keep his horizons straight a 20 megapixel, bell-and-whistled Digital Leica (if there is one!) and he'll still either make you tilt your head or the photo =))

But taking good (bordering on great) pictures involves having 'The Eye', a fantastic camera and 2 other things, Luck and Patience. Good Luck is bestowed when all the right conditions for that excellent shot fall into place the moment you want to take the picture. Light, weather, facial expression, subject placement, et cetera. Patience is the virtue of waiting for these right conditions with your Eye and gear when luck leaves you =)) And believe you me, it can take days.



I am still honing that Eye and working on my patience. But with the Magnesium-alloyed Nikon D200 in my Crumpler sling-on, I hope to have at least a third of the battle won.

By Christmas 2007 =))