UnkFM Is Playing : Love Story - Taylor Swift

unkster

Where Unkers over 30 sip Lavazzas, rave about Alfas and reminisce lost but not forgotten SoulmateS...

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Out with the Old and in with the New(er)...

with a heavy heart, this unker decided to change cars. its was a decision made purely based on financial considerations. we needed to reduce our monthly outflow to divert the cash elsewhere.

so i traded in my 5 year old french babe..





with a 3 year old japanese geisha!












MUFFY... trust me - keep the blackie frenchie... stay away from the masses... sigh...

Toilet Wisdom

"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."

General Colin Luther Powell, United States Army (Ret.)

I don't usually give a damn about quotations. Especially when people plaster them all over their workstations, in meeting rooms or have a new one everyday as an email signature. Quite the ad nauseum actually.

But I find myself thinking about this one lately. Ironically, I first saw this pasted in a toilet many years ago. Sorry GEN Powell, Sir! =))

Some people think no bad news from their subordinates is good news. And everything's fine.

But izzit?

I fear the day their problems stop coming to me. As it is, they are not as forthcoming as before. But first I have to solve problems of my own.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I Shot The Sheriff...

..but I should have shot my new CO.

Cos he is such an arsehole. The 4 of us OCs are planning his 'murder' as we speak. And this only after our 1st official meeting today. Which by the way stretched for 5 bloody god-damn hours.

Narcissistic, smug and delusional, with a sickening penchant for playing one person against the other, he's a double-headed, conniving, slimy piece of a mutant baboon backside. How he got as far as he has in the organization only a geriatric gypsy peering into her coconut of a crystal ball can tell.

He actually had the cheek to tell me there was dissention within the ranks in Charlie Company and suggested that perhaps I swop places with OC Delta, "just to see if the problem lies with you or your officers". All this only after 2 weeks understudying my out-going CO and hardly even walking the ground.

And now he has sowed the seeds of doubt in my mind. Are there really murmurs of hate and distrust? My heart tells me no but my head tells me there is always a possibility.

Nabeh!

I need a Heckler & Koch pronto!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

muff has his fave in MI3, so do i...














haven't seen her on screen for such a long time...the bookishly gorgeous KERI RUSSELL =)

Q-ing For Ms Q...

When MI:3 opens. Tom can go shoot himself with the H & K MP5 =))



Monday, April 24, 2006

The ABS-ing French Bitch

It was a wet and slippery day on the roads this evening.

And here I was cruising at about 80km/h behind a cab on the Ayer Rajah Expressway, deep in thought and humming away to the tune on the radio when the taxi decided it would skid, swerve and come to a 90 degree stop right infront of me.

I pee-ed in my pants. And stomped on the brakes. Caught a split-second glimpse of the white-faced passengers in the backseat with my oncoming 'juggernaut' of a Renault fast approaching their left door.

The ABS kicked it instantly and I felt the brake pedal shudder and pulsate. Thankfully, the car didn't slip and slide one bit and I was able to glance quickly at my left wing mirror before making a sharp dive into the left lane, missing the front of the taxi by a toenail.

If not for the fact that I wasn't speeding, not really tail-gating, only dreaming abit and for this wonderful invention they call the Anti-lock Brake System, I would have ploughed right into the taxi. I don't think the Japanese tin-can would have stood a chance against a Gallic soup-pot. Plus his left side would have been virtually vulnerably exposed.

Thank God for a NCAP 5-Star safety rating. I shouldn't be calling you a bitch anymore darling Ren Ren and I promise you I won't be oogling that Italian Stallion liao =))

I may be laughing now but I was still shaking when I picked J for dinner =S

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Of Cows, Calamari and a Cookie

Last week, in spite of a pretty busy schedule, I managed to finish 2 books. Quite an achievement really since I hardly read 'proper' stuff nowadays, apart from the newspapers, trashy men magazines and migraine-inducing reports that is. Oh yah and office email of course =))

So with a good cuppa coffee and ciggies, I found myself winding down after hours with Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code and Sarah MacDonalds's Holy Cow!. The former cos I was determined to read the thing before the movie starts screening in mid-May (yes I am that SLOW =P) and the latter cos I was attracted to the gaudy cover and the equally bawdy Karma Chameleon of a colleague who was finishing it over breakfast one morning.

Both books are 'spiritual' in their own way but it was Ms Macdonald's playfully hilarious prose and witty journalistic cynicism that won me over the stacatto-chapter style of Mr Brown, who honestly spins quite a believable yarn about the Holy Grail not really being a cup =))



In her twenties, Sarah Macdonald backpacked around India and came away with a bad impression of the heat, pollution and poverty. So when an airport beggar reads her palm before she boards the flight home and tells her she would return to India for love, she gives him the middle finger. Aussie brat!

But eleven years later, as a successful broadcast journalist with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, the prophecy comes true. When the love of her life Jonathan is posted to India as the ABC's bureau chief, she takes a sabbatical from work to move to New Delhi. It sure seems like the ultimate sacrifice for love, and it almost kills her, literally, cos she falls dangerously ill with double pneumonia soon after arriving, an experience that compels her to face some serious questions about her own fragile mortality and inner spiritual void. Thus begins her journey of discovery through India in search of the meaning of life and death.

The book is Sarah's often hilarious chronicle of her adventures in a land of chaos and contradiction, of encounters with Hinduism, Islam and Jainism, Sufis, Sikhs, Parsis and Christians and a kaleidoscope of yogis, swamis and Bollywood stars. From spiritual retreats and crumbling nirvanas to war zones and New Delhi nightclubs.

For me it is a travelogue with a difference and I leave you guys with an excerpt of Sarah's discussion on the eponymous cow, which follows a description of Indian traffic rules:

I've always thought it hilarious that Indian people chose the most boring, domesticated, compliant and stupid animal on earth to adore, but already I'm seeing cows in a whole different light. These animals clearly know they rule and the like to mess with our heads. The humpbacked bovines step off median strips just as cars are approaching, they stare down drivers daring them to charge, they turn their noses up at passing elephants and camels, and hold huddles at the busiest intersections where they seem to chat away like the bulls of Gary Larson cartoons. It's clear they are enjoying themselves.

But for animals powerful enough to stop traffic and holy enough that they'll never become steak, cows are treated dreadfully. Scrawny and sickly, they survive by grazing on garbage that's dumped in plastic bags. The bags collect in their stomachs and strangulate their innards, killing the cows slowly and painfully. Jonathan has already done a story about the urban cowboys of New Delhi who lasso the animals and take them to volunteer vets for operations. Unfortunately the cows are privately owned and once they are restored to health they must be released to eat more plastic.



*************************

Ok after writing so much I don't feel like talking about Calamaris and Cookies anymore =)) Suffice to say that when R told me he felt like Calamari, I figured that perhaps a certain Cookie had inflicted the same sotong-effect on me. Its ok if you guys dunno what rubbish I am spewing =)) See bo-liao definition below.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

free ice cream offer!


well, at least for those ppl in singapore, that is....for the folks overseas, sorry lah...NYAH NYAH NYAH...heehee ;)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

entertainment part 2

this fella is soooo good that i felt compelled to share it here as well as my own blog...

leff click to see the TRICKSHOT CHAMP ;))

check out the fella's webby HERE

entertainment part 1

since muff has "commanded" unk and meself to keep everyone entertained, here's a quirky little ad for you guys to check out...rather creative use of breakfast material, i must say...

leff click HERE (2.91 mb, 42 seconds)...

enjoy ;)

p.s. dunno about u, but that sooner or later song is starting to reaaaallly bug me.... =))

Monday, April 17, 2006

Muff MIAs

For the next 5 days at least. Busy busy. So Kona and Unker please keep the folks in here entertained. Afterall, the 6000+ hits show we have a ready audience for boliao-ness (Chinese dialect for a nothingelse-better-to-do malady that exhibits itself as nonsensical idle chatter and stupid asinine behaviour) =))

I leave you all with the Alan Parsons Project. Hope the incessant drone of Alan et al doesn't drive you to your grave sooner rather than later. It will be my theme song over the next 5 days, don't ask me why k. Just turn off your speakers if it irritates you too much ya =))

Ciao, Arrivederci, Au revoir..for now...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

This Song Is Not A Rebel Song

Suddenly, U2 has entered the political arena with a song which links Ireland's two Bloody Sundays, 1920 and 1971, with the crucifixion ("The real battle is begun / To claim the victory Jesus won / On a Sunday, bloody Sunday"). The Edge reckons that they wrote it naively, without considering the consequences. But it might have caused a more serious backlash if the guitarist had got his way. Unusually he conceived the original lyrics as well as the music. It began, "Don't talk to me about the rights of the IRA." He can smile about it now: "My words were pretty clumsy. Bono shifted it to being much less political, more of a personal reflection." After NORAID (Irish Northern Aid Committee) supporting Irish-Americans misunderstood and began throwing money on the stage when U2 played the song, Bono responded with the introduction: "This song is not a rebel song!". When they played it the day after the Enniskillen bombing in 1988, as immortalised by the Rattle And Hum movie, he added a raging "Fuck the revolution!" Sunday Bloody Sunday resulted in enduring opprobrium from Republicans, and prompted a denunciation from Gerry Adams. "Thankfully those days are long gone," says The Edge. "We're optimistic about what's been happening."

(from "Boys To Men" by Phil Sutcliffe, Q Magazine, November 1998)

SBS here.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Good Friday

I suppose today is a good friday for different reasons to different people.

For some, its a day to remember Christ's ultimate sacrifice on the Cross at Calvary. For me, its a welcomed break from a really hectic week.

But I remember faithfully going to church every Good Friday when I was young, up till say when I was 18. When the sermon would be sad and solemn. And then waking up all bleary-eyed at 5 on Easter Sunday morning for the sunrise service usually held at a local reservoir park. When the sermon would be really joyful and full of hope.

On the Saturday in between, we'll all be in limbo. But it was a good time to start taking out the eggs (both calcium-shelled and cadbury) and poster-paint I reckon. Sort of a secular reprieve from the holiness of it all =))

Whatever reason, enjoy the wet day, what's left of it.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Rain King

Bloody weather.

Doesn't rain when you want it to and always pours when its not supposed to. When you're all nicely showered and tucked into bed and want the pitter-patter of raindrops to lull you to slumber, all the water you'll get is the 95% humidity outside. And after a hot and sunny morning in office, you step out to lunch in the middle of a torrential monsoon without an umbrella.

But of course the biggest peeve is having just washed your car after 2 weeks and to see it all splotched again by a passing acidic shower. Like today! The freakin' spotted-measles look is so not farnee.

If there is a Rain King, he sure is one damn lousy monarch =))

Monday, April 10, 2006

Woman In-Chains..erm...In-Charge

I am out of the office for 2 weeks on some business and have left my very capable but bitchy deputy in-charge.

And boy do I shudder at the thought of the damage-control I have to do when I get back. Staff Ego and Emotional damage-control that is. Think of her as a Margaret Thatcher/Empress Dowager Cixi hybrid. You get the picture? =))

The age-old debate of whether women on top make good bosses is an age-old debate for good reason. The Women-on-top think they are, the men of course..erm..beg to differ in most instances. Its not as if there are NO good women bosses around and its certainly not a question of technical ability, but even most women I talk to seem to think that a lady-boss is hard to handle. And the constant mood swings, oh thats another kettle of fish altogether =))

Its like once they get on top, the chains of stereotypical bondage are finally broken and they go all out to prove a point. Especially to the poor male underlings who have the gall and audacity to show the slightest hint of disdain. And woe to you, the Sweet mini-skirted Young Thing in the office who has the affection of the XY-chromosomed Weaklings, your transgression will be paid for dearly, even if you only twitched your cute powdered little nose =))

Women, don't get rid of the chains only to replace them with leather straps ya? Its just as painful =))

Friday, April 07, 2006

Held

I don't usually listen to Christian music anymore since the commercialised days of Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith and even Jars Of Clay. But I make an exception for Held cos I think its beautiful. And someone tell me why I found Staccie Orrico in a Christian CD shop while looking for Natalie 2 months ago =))

Listen to it here


Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Natalie Grant

Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered

They say to be bewitched is to be under some kinda spell. I think that emotional spell is over.

Its on to the more sobering feelings of being bothered and bewildered. More often than not, at the same time. Which bothers me cos I am so bewildered I dunno what is bothering me which only leads to more bewilderment as I ponder the bothered-bewildered feelings. OK i'm screwed =))

I think alot of it has to do with me coming back to an empty apartment everyday. A little lost in the silence I suppose. And so Stacey has to sing just that little louder, for me. Even when I come home at 2 in the morning. Nights are the most bewildering of times. The days, I reckon, are more bearable as the hustle and bustle of life around you takes away some of the bothered solitude.

Has it been 11 days since I moved in? Feels like 111.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Mendes Mayhem



The legendary Brazilian pianist/arranger/producer Sergio Mendes makes a Santana-style comeback for his first album Timeless in eight years, teaming up with the Black Eyed Peas' will.i.am and a variety of pop, hip-hop and R&B stars, including Erykah Badu, Justin Timberlake, Jill Scott, Black Though, John Legend and more.

Entertainment Weekly calls it an urban soundtrack for sucking venti lattes and that this Starbucks-sponsored set of gentle samba-jazz-rap is a pleasant surprise

I say Timeless falls between Buena Vista Social Club and Santana's latter-day albums, deftly combining old bossa-nova beats wif a snazzy new groove aimed squarely at commercial revival and the latin-lounging younger set.

The 1st single off the album Mas Que Nada featuring the Black Eyed Peas raWkz.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

illy and Me

When will illy and me ever be?

Cos I bought this Braun Drip Coffee Maker last Sunday and the salesman told me i didn't have to buy separate filter papers to filter off the ground bean residues. And guess what, when I got home, the instruction manual says you have to.

Felt like going back to the shop and knock the stupid fella's head with the glass carafe. He was so sure.

Until I find 'Type 4' coffee filter paper, guess illy will have to wait.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

RIP

haven't posted here in a while already...this blog is turning into a de facto unker muffy's blog... =P

just got some bad news today...the missus's good friend's brother was in fact one of the four singaporeans who perished in the bahrain ferry boat sinking :S

he was the 27 year old chap working for century technologies... :(


the family claimed the body yesterday as i understand and i think the wake is tonight...sigh...will be attending with the missus...

the boat was definitely overcrowded and looking at the design, is most definitely a top-heavy one...and with people crowding the top deck on 1 side, it was inevitable, in hindsight, that it would capsize...and some more in calm seas...

life is so short sometimes... :|

Answer The Phone

Sometimes I wish we could all go back to the days of pagers. At least you can choose who and when you wanna call back.

Spent the whole night at work answering the phone, ALL 4 OF THEM! Goddamit. You see I have 1 official handphone, 1 personal handphone, 1 land line and another intercom line. And if you count my walkie-talkie-cum-phone which crackles constantly, that would be 5 lines of communication. 5 too many =))

At one time, 3 of them went off together. I am not an octopus =)) And to think I used to chide one of my colleagues for refusing to carry a little Nokia or Motorola.

Mebbe I should get myself one of those kewl OAKLEY shades with a built-in earpiece. Wearable Electronics as it were. Can look like Bush's Secret Service somemore =))



Listen to Answer The Phone by Sugar Ray

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Don't Cry

Back in the mid-90's when forming your own little rag-tag band was all the rage, my friends John, Eric and I recorded this song in a little studio along Serangoon Rd. On pre-historic cassette tape no less. Last time, CDs were 30-over bucks a pop and there was no such thing as CD-RWs.

We have since lost the tape. Or maybe John gave it to some girl he was chasin'. Although I dunno if she was impressed wif the yelping and scratchy guitars =)) Either that or it has bio-degraded into a small heap of mouldy acrylic.

Wadever, 11 years on, the vocals of local boy Brian Colaco and his group Naked still sound so beautifully melancholic.

P.S I've added a lyrics box down below if u wanna sing along =)) And you can access the song here.