What? Its Time To Go To The Wat?

In 5 days time, wifey and me will be here...



and here...




we will be staying here...



and we hope to visit this...



but somehow now dat we are ready to go, I want to stay here.

On A Write Note..

Yesterday I had one of my brighter young officers proof-read my lengthy project paper for proper sentence flow, factual accuracy and grammar. Her Engrish quite the 'tok kong' one so I wanted her honest opinion and feedback. Verdict? errrr, her exact words were "good structure but typical insipid gahment style that makes me yawn by page 2". Lucky she's chio and so gets away with murder :))

But it got me thinking. My standard of writing has degenerated over the years. Especially when all I do these days is vet boring reports and craft emails with such interesting phrases as 'Pls deal', 'FYNA', 'See Me' and 'Noted'. Nowadays, I am 'arrowed' only occasionally by the big boss to come up with some project papers. And even with such 'insipid gahment style' reports, I find myself struggling to sometimes get my facts across in a coherent and less-rambling manner. Sigh, aging lah..

And I was reminded of the issue yet again today while reading an article in the Sunday papers about a journalist who attended a creative writing course and her experiences. It brought me back to the time when I used to indulge in a spot of creative-writing in Primary School and when the standard of my prose was better. You know I had a book of short stories that was photo-copied and passed around amongst my classmates by my Pri6 English Teacher. In Secondary School, my English Compositions were almost always read out in class and I was Editor of the School Mag. Junior College saw me editing the school General Paper Bulletin which was basically a published collection of outstanding GP essays that served as a guide for those struggling with the subject.

So you see, I have largely been involved in writing and perhaps improving the writings of others. So it was particulary embarassing to have someone call your words 'insipid' :))

Well back to that journalist and the creative-writing course she attended. Well she said that the ang-mo expert who conducted the course had these tips for would-be creative-writers :

a. Just get the pen moving across the page and try not to stop and edit yourself. There is such a thing as a 1st Draft.

b. Writing is like exercise, the more you do it, the better you get.

c. Show, don't tell. Don't just say "Anne is 64", use details such as bifocals or grey hair to flesh her age out.

d. Go with the flow and don't assume that you know where your story is going before you even start.

e. Read good fiction and pick an author whose style you admire and read more of his/her work.

f. Voicing your own written words can help you figure out the places in the prose that just don't work. If it doesn't sound right, it probably isn't.

Basic but rather sound advise actually. Although Creative Writing is different from Factual Report Writing in terms of content, I feel there is much to learn from the former about marrying style and substance, in order to make for better reading and presentation in the latter.

Lets see if Unkster gives me the sort of creative practise I so crave for to improve myself. Obviously from what my bright young officer says, I do have some way to go...;))

Who will be number one?

excellent read.

yasmin is the executive creative director for leo burnett in kuala lumpur. she is responsible for all the hear-wrenching 'movie' style commercials you see on malaysian tv from time to time... like the hari raya and deewali greetings etc. also recently produced several films centered on malaysian life.

if i wasn't in the career i was in now, what she does is what i would want to be doing.

Collide

You know how it feels. At times a little silly, at times juz plain shitty.

Nothing can come out of it and yet you plunge head-long into what you surely know, will be a complicated mess. A contemplated collision of sorts, that can only end in heartache...

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

The Feng Shui Man Said: A Short Story (Chp 6)

The following story is fictional, or not. The characters depicted in the story are also fictional, or not. The events described in the story did happen, or maybe they didn't... I will write it over a period of time... you decide if its true or not..

Click the following for previous chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

The Feng Shui Man Said

Chapter 6: False Happiness


Images of the last time I set foot in Camarthen filled my mind as I paced around the living room. Melanie had to take a call from her husband and stepped out with the boy and his nanny, before I could ask her the million and one questions I had in my mind.

It was the night before I left Wales. We had driven down to Bath for the afternoon and ended up having a nice, romantic pasta dinner at a quaint little restaurant just outside Cardiff on our way back. I don't remember much of our conversation at dinner. I do remember I was feeling on cloud nine and had a big painful ache in my heart all at the same time. It must have been the anticipation of leaving for home the next day that was playing on my heart. After dinner, Melanie insisted on driving and used the excuse that my insurance coverage had run out but I found out later she wanted to drive because we were not going straight home. I was looking out the window, a thousand painful thoughts going through my mind as the car moved smoothly along the expressway. I noticed that she missed the exit to Cardiff, and turned to tell her, but the sly grin on her face told me she had missed it on purpose. Eventually we turned into Carmathen, a neighbouring town. She drove us up the hill at the town center and parked at an open air carpark in front of the huge Camarthen Castle. It looked simply magnificent silhoutted against the moonlight.

As we walked up the coble stone path up to the main drawbridge of the castle, Melanie held my hand and whispered quietly in my ear, "I wish this night would never end".

We spent a couple of hours just standing in the middle of the drawbridge, staring down at what was once a deep moat which surrounded the castle. We didn't speak much. Just stood there, holding hands and hugging each other. We made magic that night. The next day, I left.

I stopped pacing. My mind was racing, calculating the number of years that had passed. Joshua looked like he was 8 or 9 years old. My heart went into overdrive as I contemplated the possibility that he was my... my son. The timing seemed to add up. It was too much of a coincidence. It had to be. It was all making sense to me now. Shortly after I returned home all those years ago, Melanie had vanished. No one knew where she was or how to get in touch with her.. It was a year before she started contacting her friends again. And it was to be several years before she got in touch with me again.

“What are you thinking about?” I jumped. Melanie had entered the room again.

Before I could answer, she put her right index finger on my lips and motioned for me to be quiet.

“Kelvin is coming home the day after tomorrow. He has cut his trip short”, she said as we both sat on the couch. “Please listen carefully to me. I want you to leave before he gets back. I know we planned for a longer visit, but you have to go. And… after you leave, we will never see or speak to each other again”.

“But why?”, I said, fighting back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. “Why tell me about our Son then ask me to leave?

“Joshua is not yours”.

“What? But he looks the right age. He has to be mine”,

“Come one, you of all people should know that monogamy is not my cup of tea! He is not yours. I wanted you to know about him because I want you to know I have some issues to deal with. I am trying to sort things out and get my life in order. Having you at the other end of an email message or telephone line is not making things easier for me. We would never be happy. I have to get you out of my system”.

“Why on earth did you ask me to come and see you? I don’t get it”. I was losing control of my senses. It felt like I had been hit by a locomotive.

“I wanted to tell you in person... and,.. er.. hold you one last time. I have been totally unfair to you. I shouldn’t have led you to believe there was any hope left in us. With you, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. Our friendship has to end. We can never be together. You are looking for false happiness with me. I’m sorry”.

Chapter 7

Confessions Of A SneakerSlut 1 - Return of The Mountain Cat

Puma is back! And with a heavy dose of retro-chic it seems.

Unkers and GenX-ers will remember the brand from their childhood. Hell, I used to own 2 pairs of Puma soccer boots in Primary school and a pair of Puma sneakers. But somehow along the way in the 90's, the avalanche of Nike, Adidas and Reebok nearly pushed the big cat into extinction.

Now with the Big Boys reverting to classic cuts and bringing back the shapes and forms of the 70's and 80's, Puma has timed its return to the world stage to perfection. The German brand is right at home with its turn-back-the-clock designs that do not seem over-engineered, especially in this day and age of shoes with auto-adjusting shock absorbers :))

For old times sake, I bought a pair today. OK I confess, I didn't really need a new pair of shoes. But since I couldn't find the Nalgene water bottle, pair of black Adidas socks and Nike running singlet I wanted from Queensway, I succumbed to the call of the 'Alternative Purchase' to justify the long drive to the faraway shopping centre.

Nice or not? Latest leh :))

The Feng Shui Man Said: A Short Story (Chp 5)

The following story is fictional, or not. The characters depicted in the story are also fictional, or not. The events described in the story did happen, or maybe they didn't... I will write it over a period of time... you decide if its true or not..

Click the following for previous chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

The Feng Shui Man Said

Chapter 5: Joshua

"Last night was fantastic!" Melanie said softly as I drove out onto Market Street in downtown Cardiff. "The last time I had 6 in a row was.... well, you know, you were there"

She put her hand on my left thigh. I reached down to hold it and we drove along in silence.

10 minutes later she gestured towards the entrance to a parking lot. My mind was a thousand miles away, with a million different things passing through my thoughts. It took me several minutes before I realized we were now at the Cardiff Skating Arena.

“I feel like going for a skate”, she said with a gleeful glint in her eyes. “Remember when we came here last?

I nodded. I remembered it all right. It was my first and last time in an ice-skating rink. I fell so badly I was limping for the rest of my trip. That was 8 years before. I never did take it up in all those years. But it was what Melanie wanted to do, so I decided to give it a go.

The words of the Feng Shui master were ringing loudly in my head as I stepped gingerly out onto the rink. Melanie who had been helping me wobble over the rows of benches as we headed towards to little blue door which would give us access to the rink gave me a little shove and then giggled as she sped off onto the ice. I rolled out towards the middle of the rink on the strength of her push. I had no idea how to stop, or speed up. I didn’t see the little girl zooming towards me from the left. The last thing I remembered hearing was the loud crack of my mobile phone breaking into a million tiny pieces as I fell and landed ackwardly, on my butt, then falling backwards and knocking my head on the ice. The phone was in my back pocket, on the side of my butt which bore the full brunt of my weight.

When I woke up, it was dark. I didn’t recognize the room I was in. It looked like a living room, but I couldn’t be sure. It was definitely not Melanie’s house. I tried to stand up, but the pain in my head was making it hard.


I heard a door opening. It was Melanie.

“Where am I?” I asked. The pain was slowing going away. “Whose house is this?”

“Its mine. We are in Carmathen”. There was a seriousness to her tone of voice that made me feel nervous.

“Come in pumpkin”, she called out.

A boy with short, curly hair entered the room. He must have been 8 or 9 years old. He was good looking, and looked like he was of mixed parentage.

“This is Joshua”, she said. “He is my son”.


Chapter 6

C Is For Cookie

"C" is for cookie
thats good enough for me
"C" is for cookie
thats good enough for me
"C" is for cookie
thats good enough for me
Oh.........cookie,cookie,cookie starts with "C".



C-ing you juz brightens up my day, dear cookie...:P

An Amah's Smile

Yesterday was Amah's birthday. Her 83rd, so she says. We really have to check her IC. Why? Because when mum told her we were having dinner to celebrate, she insisted it was MY birthday :))

So we ate at a nice little seafood place down at Bukit Timah. You know, the usual, crabs, prawns, fish, mussles, blah blah blah..And as I sat there and watched poor ole' granny take a nibble of her steamed grouper and gingerly pull a fishbone out from between her dentures, I was suddenly reminded of the fiery old matriach she once was.

Not any more.

I was brought up by Amah and can attest to her calcium-hardened knuckle bones which used to come crashing down on my head if I mis-behaved. She would also pick me up by the scruff of the neck and toss me. Strong woman she was. But this was the same woman who would shield me from the wrath of my father and put ointment on the cane marks across my thighs so that my classmates didn't get to see them in school.

Entwined with the memories of pain, are recollections of the straits-chinese gastrononomical delights that formed an indelible part of my childhood. Amah, you see, was a fabulous nonya cook. And had I not been busy catching spiders and doing all those naughty-schoolboy things and spent more time in the kitchen helping her at the mortar and pestle with the belachan, I could have been the next Shermay Lee with my own celebrity cooking school at HollandV and Peranakan Cookbook.

Amah's all bent and frail now. And we have to shout to communicate with her because she refuses to wear a hearing aid. I suspect she's lost her sense of taste as well. Although amazingly, she still cooks on special occasions and the food tastes just as good as it used to be. We think its because she knows the recipes by heart and instinctively, how much of this and that to put into the wok.

Her hubby died when my father was 10. My own father has since gone to heaven. I wonder how hard it was for Amah to raise 3 kids on her own and then have to contend with out-living her own son.

As I pushed the red packet into her hands after dinner, she smiled at me. Something I have not seen in 20 years. Behind that facade of deafness, senility and sensory-tongue deficiency, I think I will always be her Ah Boy.

Happy Birthday Amah.

what's left are just nubs where there used to be..

...toes :))

greetings fellow unkster and wannabes...unker kona's just back from bangkok...without most of his toes...missus kona dragged him all over bangkok in search of clothes, accessories, household items, food and massages...thank heavens for the massages else i would be crippled by now :))

cheap trip, "fun" trip (ok, so it was to a certain extent...mostly the eating...hehe)...i'd recommend a quick jaunt to anyone looking for a quick fix to a dreary week...just ask me for further details ;) or check my blog of course...

Unkster's Today In History - Happy Birthday Mr Pelvis

On this day in 1935, Elvis the Pelvis was born.

Elvis Presley's family moved to Memphis when he was 13. After working as a movie theater usher and a truck driver, he began singing locally as "The Hillbilly Cat", then signed with a local recording company, then in 1955 with RCA. He did much to establish early rock and roll music, bringing black blues singing into the white, teenage mainstream. Teenage girls became hysterical over his blatantly sexual gyrations, particularly the one that got him nicknamed "Elvis the Pelvis".

When he died on 16th Aug 1977, he had sold over 600-million singles and albums. The first of his 33 films was Love Me Tender (1956); critics blasted most of his films, but they did very well at the box-office. Military service in the late 1950s and the "British invasion" of the 1960s reduced his concerts, though not his movie/recording income. He made a comeback in the 1970s, but his increasing weight and dependence upon stimulants and depressants took their toll.

Since his death, his Memphis home Graceland has become a shrine for followers. Elvis impersonators and purported sightings have become stock subjects for humorists.

I remember watching him in one of his better-known movies, Blue Hawaii, with my mother when I was a kid. So when I went to Hawaii in 2003, I made sure I stayed at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Hotel where parts of the movie were shot and where Elvis liked to stay whenever he was in Oahu. One of the earlier songs I learnt to play on the electone organ was also the Hawaiian Wedding Song from the same movie.

Robbie William's latest single Advertising Space is his own personal tribute to The King. Elegiac, mournful and profoundly cinematic, it describes a superstar's tragic fall from grace. Robbie jokingly describes it as his own 'Candle In The Wind'.

Happy Birthday Mr Pelvis, can't help falling in love with you again and again...

Unker@TheMovies - Elizabethtown

Just in case you didn't know, Elizabethtown is a real-life small town in Kentucky, USA. And yes you guessed it, Kentucky is also home to Colonel Sanders of the KFC empire :))

I just caught the movie tonite and my verdict is, well, a 6ish - low 7ish/10 cos I can't seem to put my finger on just how the movie has lost its way. On one hand, it has its nice sweet moments and Kirsten Dunst together with Orlando Bloom are both really eye-candy. They have some palpable screen chemistry going but on the other hand, the plot is pretty if-fy and abit of a ramble. Plus it seems that Writer/Director Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire, Vanilla Sky) is bent on cramming too many songs into the soundtrack, just so that he can make the show into one big MTV-resque journey into the American heartland.

Bloom plays Drew Baylor, a once hot-shot shoe designer whose latest sneaker design has flopped terribly on the shoe market, losing his company millions and millions of dollars. He tries to ingeniously kill himself the night he gets the sack but is interrupted by a phonecall telling him that his dad has passed away. Drew is then instructed by Mummy (the fantastic Susan Sarandon) to get his oh-so-pert arse to Elizabethtown to bring back the body of his late father. Along the way there, he meets Claire (Dunst), an eternally positive flight attendant who senses his despair and makes it her Calling to cheer him up. It helps that Claire has developed a desperate crush on Drew you see.

In essence, the movie tries to weave these 3 subplots...

1. A son's longing for his dad who has suddenly passed away and his sense of regret for not being able to go on a roadtrip with his father before the latter dies. The roadtrip finally materialises with his father's ashes on the journey. Better late than never I suppose.

2. An unusually chirpy and positive girl makes the 1st move when she meets the guy whom she thinks is her soulmate. She tries to pretend that the 2 of them are just using each other as substitute lovers but deep down inside she really likes him. The guy takes a while to realise that he really likes her in return, amidst his feelings of sentimental melancholy over his late father's demise.

3. A city boy discovers the charms and warmth of small-town America, ironically in the quirkily conservative relatives/frens of his dead father.

And so the show toggles between the 3, albeit not in as tight a fashion as I would have liked it to be, resulting in a meandering plot that at some point, makes you feel that its in dire need of a map too.

Watch it, if like me and the Missus, you get all tingly at the sight of the delectable duo Dunst and Bloom. Its really not that bad but you have to calibrate your expectations and not expect too much. If anything, you get to see the sights and sounds of central heartland America that is Kentucky, a welcome change from the usual New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco cityscapes.

But mostly, Kirsten RawkZ! :P

Death and Taxes

You know what they always say, in life, there is nothing certain apart from death and taxes.

Well I shan't bitch about taxes today because we just got back from the hospital where we visited a close friend's dad who is fast losing his battle with cancer. I lost my own dad to cancer in 2004. Still, seeing uncle lying there, wheezing away in his oxygen mask with a tangle of tubes all over, brought back some memories that had only recently been pushed to a corner recess in my mind. The scenes were all too familiar.

I hate hospitals. I make all sorts of excuses not to set foot in them. So when I received an sms from a mutual friend, asking me if i wanted to get my sorry arse over there tonight, I was half-hoping the case I was handling at work would drag till 8 and I would have an excuse to say 'maybe next-time'. But I finished at 6. And so I rushed home for a hot shower and quick dinner before proceeding down to the dreaded place.

A brush with (impending) death, so to speak, like this one, always sobers you up. Again you are reminded of the frailty of life, the importance of good health and the fact that Big Daddy up there can choose to take away your pathetic existence as and when He pleases.

Can we pay a Good Health Tax to God? I asked the Missus as we were driving home. Just so that He can keep the malignant tumours and the failing organs at bay. How much? She asked. I didn't think she would take me seriously...

yesterday 2nd jan was...

...unker RJ's birthday!!!

many happy returns of the day, bro...next one, kopi on me hor :))

My 1 Jan 06

Well 2006 got off to a pretty good start for me today.

Woke up at 0700hrs even after going to bed late last night and went for a 6km jog with the wifey. We haven't done that together for a long time. I'm usually an evening-jogger kinda person. Ego took a slight beating cos the woman is now much fitter than me. I think I should get out of the gym and hit the tracks more often. After that we had a nice big brunch together with her family, another thing we haven't done on a Sunday morning in a while. I swear when I'm in a good mood, the Mother-in-law is less of a fire-breathing old dragon from Hades ;))

The afternoon was spent shopping. Boy we really don't want to see our credit card bills when they come in soon, too soon we reckon. December was already a month of Extreme Retail Therapy and we had to spend the first day of 2006 buying stuff as well. Clothes, jewellery, bags and books, 4 hours of making the credit cards all warm and fuzzy :)) Oh btw, we discovered this nice Abercrombie&Fitch-meets-BananaRepublic shop called Litmus at Queensway Shopping centre yesterday. Checkout their webbie at www.litmusblue.com. Nice casual stuff for unkers and unties who refuse to age :)) They even ship overseas.

We had a New Year's garden BBQ over at the home of a good friend in the evening. Excellent meats, seafood, pasta and oh so much wine. I'm actually a little sloshed with the 8-10 glasses of German Riesling in my tummy. You could tell we were all quite tipsy when the group broke into Debbie Gibson's We Could Be Together, campfire-style remix, in the middle of the lawn, swaying and waving our lighters in the air ;))

Well, time spent with family and friends, with a spot of shopping and exercise thrown in. A perfect start to 2006 I say...:)

unker kona braves the crowd at marina south...

...to bring one and all some pictures of the new year's eve countdown fireworks display (phew what a long description! LOL)...

i have to admit that this was my first time doing something like this...previously i had always scoffed at those who trekked their way into deep dark marina south in order to get a good vantage point just to take these sorts of photographs...but somehow this year it seemed fitting to do likewise...it will be a year for new experiences, new beginnings and i just wanted to do something out of the ordinary, i guess...

the crowds were horrendous to say the least...and the ground was muddy in many areas (lucky my birkies are still in good condition)...but the whole display made it worth the while...PWAH!!!!!!!

that being said, MOTHER!!! it took half an hour to get from the carpark lot out to the ECP...by then my blinking left leg was trembling from the effort of clutching in and out...and another half an hour to go up the CTE to home (massive traffic...probably people leaving town after the fireworks and countdown)...

finally hit the sack at 2 some for some well-deserved rest... :)

everyone, have yourselves a wonderful 2006 ahead! *wave*

The New Year is Upon Us.

Originally posted here. My first post of 2006.



The smell of baking shellfish still fills my nostrils even though dinner was several hours ago. Because of our young children and my wife being ill, our new year celebrations were confined to a quiet dinner at home. We decided to prematurely end the frozen vacation of a 1 kilo lobster we had carted back from KL.

Nothing fancy, some light seasoning, dash of herbs and a large dollop of butter and then 15 minutes in the oven. It was very good. But the poor bugger got his revenge - he got me with one of the barbs on his claws, when I was splitting him in half! I have a small cut on my right index finger. Everytime I feel the pain, I will remember how delicious he was!

Much like the lingering aroma of baked lobster, the experiences and achievements of 2005 will remain etched in my mind for some time to come. It was a challenging year, both professionaly and personally - the work demands were at an all time high, resulting in corresponding elevated levels of stress throughout the year; family life was also highly demanding in comparison to previous years on account of having a second child. But it was a reasonably good year all around, with no major setbacks personally, and gaining some positive momentum professionally. However, the year did not pass without leaving behind some scars, much like the scar left behind by the now half-digested shellfish.

My friend's wife is losing her battle with cancer. I fear this may be the last New Years day she will see in her lifetime.

I have not been as good a father as I think I could have been to my children in 2005. Two nights ago, I slapped my son - the first time I've done this, but it was hard enough to leave a bruise on his face. While I thought it was necessary at the time (and still do), I know I could have just walked away from the situation.

Healthwise, I have let things get out of hand in 2005 - weight control went out the door and so did exercise. With the family medical history I have inherited from my fathers side of the house, my chances of living beyond 60 are not good unless I take matters into my own hand.

This year, 2006, must become a defining year for me. I turn 36 in a few days - close enough to middle age to start worrying about where I will end up in 20 years. The sands of time are running out.

I am not sure what I will do to make it a defining year, but defining year or not, my 3 key goals for 2006 are as follows:

Take control of my health - specifically I must lose at least 5 kgs and improve my fitness level

Be a better parent - while I am not sure what I need to do to get there, I know I can do a better job than I am now. I can start by doing things with them, rather then just 'keeping an eye' on them when they are in my care.

Accelerate my career development - with a small amount of extra focus, I know I can achieve so much more. I have to move beyond my comfort zone more often and rise to new challenges.

While there are other things I want to achieve this year (like get my handicap down to 18) these are the most important to me. Everything else will be a bonus.

My New Year message to you out there. Enjoy 2006 - there won't be another year like it. And remember, if you are going to split a huge lobster in half, use a sharp, sharp knife.